Go Beyond

Only read if you don't mind being offended.

Back on FreeBSD

I took out Rantbin a little while ago. I'm tempted to add it back.

Afterwards, someone, or a couple people, have used SporeStack's Rantbin to leave me a comment about my blog or my book. I don't know why it means so much to hear from strangers on the Internet, but it does. I guess I feel understood for a moment and deeply flattered that my writing might ever mean anything to someone.

My confidence is highly variable. I guess I have the odd bout of egomania, but for the most part there's a lot of things I'm not sure of myself with. I can generally be bold and I pursue what I want to do, but with many things there's a very deep inner doubt.

I don't know why it seems so many people like to pretend they are perfect. I have a lot wrong with me. I'm afraid of hurting the people I love. I'm afraid I might never make a good husband or a good father, two things I'd like very much but have never managed.

I'm afraid that my mistakes and hurts from the past will keep me from something meaningful today. Something that right now seems quite plausible.

I was never very good at sports. Let alone very good, I was quite below average. I excel at what's beneath my fingertips as I write. Yet, much of me hates it because it has nothing to do with the actual world I was born into. I know not of nature of the reality of humanity. I might know more about systems engineering than I know about talking to actual people. The concepts I understand are relevant to things I could never create on my own. So my greatest strength is in something that is invisible if you transported me back a hundred years in time.

Then, I haven't even the personality for what I do. As far as Myerr Briggs go (and think of it what you will), I am an INFP. I'm a deeply emotional person. I don't know why I am this way. INFPs are seldom ever engineers or create much of anything. Well, they write, and even that I feel I've neglected so much that I'm not very good at it.

Further, I feel my pursuit of truth has left my views that those who pursue feelings cannot understand me. And yet perhaps I'm too emotional to be understood by thinking types.

/pol/ is the hurt-box

On another note, this blog is hosted on FreeBSD again. The nginx configuration and all can be built from source if needed. The entire source tree is relatively pathed and saved, with packages I built on a machine next to me. After initial bootstrapping, configuration is done with Ansible.

It does a lot less than the my previous Debian setup I worked on for years, but I feel I own this one. I can save the entire tree of what I use with my NAS, laptop, and blog on a BluRay disc and recompile it all without internet access. It's been a long time dream of mine to do. And it appears to work.

I've used SaltStack for much longer than Ansible. I'm certainly not using Ansible "correctly," yet. I don't understand many of its aspects. What I can tell you is that it's much simpler, much more my style than Ansible. Ansible is like Lego, you use one piece and you grab the return from that to plug into something else. While you can do it with SaltStack, it's much more structured in a way. Ansible is more line by line execution. For simpler projects, I would hands down recommend Ansible. For more complex ones, SaltStack may be warranted. One of the biggest things to note is the speed difference. I would say that SaltStack is 5-10x faster than Ansible -- possibly more. This isn't an exaggeration and this applies even to localhost usage. I have some theories on why that I'll spare you from, for now.

Thank your for reading.


PS: Happy Birthday, M.